There is something about everything that makes it not quite satisfactory. Even things we really love are spoilt by not being quite enough or – the opposite – going on too long. People entering psychotherapy want to feel better – more authoritative, less anxious or depressed, more whole – and although it can help, an enormous amount of difficult and painful emotions continue to arise. After years and years of therapy, many of us feel as mad as ever. There is no ‘happy ever after’. This all begs the question; what is the place of suffering in human experience and how best can we be with it? This book picks up this question and answers by saying that discontent and unhappiness are inevitable parts of our human experience but there are ways to avoid adding further unnecessary suffering. By becoming present, accepting, and kind, we may enfold what hurts us in a more spacious and meaningful way. Cultivating our ability to be present with emotions felt in the body, we may get a glimpse of how emotions dissolve in the open space of awareness.
Present with Suffering: Being with What Hurts will have global appeal to psychotherapy professionals as well as general readers who may be grieving, have an interest in Buddhism, or want to become more present and mindful.
Elizabeth Wilde McCormick has worked as a psychotherapist for over forty years in both private and national health settings. She was, with Nigel Wellings, a director of training at The Centre for Transpersonal Psychology and she is a founder member and currently a trustee of the Association for Cognitive Analytic Therapy. Liz is also a teacher, trainer, and writer with a long-standing interest in the interface between psychotherapy and mindfulness. She is the author of a number of bestselling psychological self-help books, two novels, and two books with Nigel Wellings, Transpersonal Psychotherapy Theory and Practice and Nothing To Lose: Psychotherapy, Buddhism and Living Life.
Linda Hartley, author of Somatic Psychology: Body, Mind and Meaning –
‘At a time when we face so much personal, collective and planetary loss and suffering, this book comes as a timely and welcome support, a reminder of how by staying present with our grief and pain we might find ways through to healing […] Present with Suffering is truly a gift for our troubled times.’
Dr Sarah Eagger, MB, BS, FRCPsych, Chair of the Janki foundation for Spirituality in Healthcare and former Consultant Psychiatrist at Imperial College London –
‘An absorbing exploration reconciling the human experience of suffering with the spiritual insights of meditative practice. Seen through the lenses of Buddhism and psychotherapy, the authors explain that within the bleakness of loss arises the possibility that pain and grief can be transformed into something new, more bearable and ultimately liberating.’
Marie-Anne Bernardy-Arbuz, clinical psychologist and CAT psychotherapist, Paris –
‘A thought-provoking meditation for everyone of being in the world, living in impermanence, emptiness and wholeness, and in harmony, with the help of Buddhist teachings. An invite for each of us to look at the essentials of what it means to be human. Present with Suffering teaches us to sit back in ‘our observing awareness,’ suggests how to ‘fill the gap of emptiness,’ and most of all, asks us to keep in mind the ‘not necessarily so’.’
Dr Andy Harkin, medical doctor and psychotherapist –
‘Wellings and Wilde McCormick provide contrasting yet complementary voices on this important topic. The seeming natural impulse can be to turn away from suffering, that it’s all too much. Within these pages we are invited to not just turn towards and be with suffering in all its guises, but also to lean on ancient Buddhist practices in so doing. These practices allow for an intimate communion with the body-felt sense of pain beyond story, and ultimately, the dissolution of this pain in the basic goodness at the core.’
Margaret Landale, MSc, psychotherapist, supervisor and speaker –
‘This important book offers a heartfelt exploration into human suffering. By drawing on their personal experience of living and working with suffering, the authors offer a critical orientation of wisdom and hope for those navigating through the painful turbulences of loss, grief and trauma.’
Gay Watson, PhD, author of A Philosophy of Emptiness and Attention Beyond Mindfulness –
‘The question the authors pose is: How can we be with the things that hurt? Their answer is: through awareness, acceptance, kindness and compassion – the components of wisdom. By exploring bereavement through embodiment and narrative (McCormick), and offering an explanation of emptiness that is unusually faithful to both Buddhist and therapeutic understandings (Wellings), together they have produced a short book resonant with awareness, kindness, compassion and wisdom.’
Sussex Counselling and Psychotherapy News –
‘The meditations spoke to me, the authors’ personal experiences moved me, and I was left in no doubt of the value of ‘finding a safe way to access a helpful reflective pause’.’