Flourishing Love is a secular defence of marriage and long-term intimate partnership. It rejects a moral–religious code to govern love lives and instead puts its faith in the human potential for couples to be benevolent, loyal, and forgiving to preserve and enhance their romantic union.
Dr Gnaulati draws on a variety of sources to present the joint emotional upkeep necessary to make an intimate relationship not just satisfactory, but vital, and to illustrate what these lasting bonds look like. The latest science, anecdotes from his own 30-year marriage as well as from his psychotherapy practice, the musings of ancient and contemporary philosophers, real-life interviews from partners in long-term happy marriages and intimate unions, and reflections on what can be derived from couples therapy are all used to reveal the secrets to a successful romantic partnership.
The result is a how-to of engaging in attentive and sensitive communication; employing a fairness habit of mind around household chores, childrearing responsibilities, and finances; optimally moving through and beyond conflict; using humor to enhance closeness; keeping an erotic spark alive; and ethically handling urges to stray outside the couple. A must-read for all those who crave meaning, happiness, and fulfilment in life and need their romantic partnerships to help, not hinder, in this endeavour.
Kirk Schneider, President of the Existential-Humanistic Institute and author of ‘Life-Enhancing Anxiety: Key to a Sane World’ –
‘At last, a book on marriages that endure; one that stresses the depth and quality of relationships, along with their quantity in years. Enrico Gnaulati’s Flourishing Love is a breath of fresh air for those of us who have been blessed with enduring, quality marriages. In this era of quick fixes and fleeting encounters, Gnaulati’s voice is a welcome counternarrative, particularly for those who have become cynical about the virtues – or even possibilities – of gratifying, lasting bonds. Replete with examples and humanistic sensibilities, Flourishing Love is a must for anyone yearning for deep and enduring partnership.’
Clancy Martin, Professor of Philosophy, University of Missouri–Kansas City and author of ‘How Not to Kill Yourself: A Portrait of the Suicidal Mind’ –
‘With humor, frankness, and wisdom born of deep personal and therapeutic experience, Enrico Gnaulati – in equal parts philosopher and psychologist – teaches us how to be better lovers and partners. Every married couple should read this book in bed together. Belongs on the bedside table with Stendhal’s On Love and The Joy of Sex.’
John Kaag, Professor of Philosophy, University of Massachusetts Lowell and author of ‘Hiking with Nietzsche: On Becoming Who You Are’ –
‘My first two marriages were based on extreme self-sacrifice, a sense of overbearing duty, and the hope that I could live up to the religious values of my parents and grandparents. Of course, these relationships fell apart. I wish I would have read Flourishing Love in my early twenties and avoided unnecessary heartache. I am married again and, with Enrico Gnaulati’s help, giving lasting love another shot, this time with the understanding that settling into love is not the same as settling for less.’